"But in any wedding, the flowers set the tone, add color and fragrance, and are one of the things that the guests really remember. So don't skimp."
Do you really want the flowers to be the thing that sticks out in your guests' mind when they look back on your wedding?
I am not a design scrooge. I very much appreciate aesthetics and the overall feel of a room, an event, a space. I understand the connection between aesthetics and emotion.
But I also firmly believe there are many, many more important things for a couple to obsess about, such as:
- How do we create a ceremony that makes guests feel, "Wow, that was so sincere and authentic. I feel privileged to have witnessed their public declaration of love and commitment"?
- How do we plan a reception that helps people from two different camps somehow feel connected to each other? How do we plan a reception that is purely and simply fun and enjoyable for both our guests and ourselves? How do we maximize the amount of time we get to spend with those who matter to us most?
- What kind of wedding planning process should we partake in so we minimize stress, enjoy ourselves, and don't let our wedding outsize our relationship?
- How do we ensure that our wedding is about us and not anybody else's desire to put on some kind of show?
One of the tactics of the Wedding Industrial Complex is to get us to obsessively ask questions that can be answered by purchasing something. How can I make my wedding beautiful? Flowers, chair-covers, matching bridesmaids dresses, more flowers, tablecloths, coordinated napkins. How can I be beautiful? An expensive dress, expensive shoes, new undergarments, hair styling, make-up, facials, manicure, pedicure, new jewelry.
I'm not suggesting that we give up all those details. I am suggesting, however, that we obsessively focus on asking and answering the important questions first.