Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Letter to the Bride

Dearest Bride-to-Be:

The 12-18 months of wedding planning will pass in a matter of hours or days. When it’s all said and done, the photos will be the primary artifact remaining.

My wish for you—when you look back at those photos—is for you to think:

Look at how relaxed I was. Fully present in the moment. Basking in it. Soaking it in. I was not saturated in stress.

My shoes and dress were comfortable enough for dancing. My beauty radiated out of me; it was not applied to me.

I got to spend quality time with my friends and family. I was myself, not a show. In fact, I was my fullest expression of self.

I do not remember whether the invitations were letterpress or whether the flowers at the ceremony were the same ones at the reception.

The wedding favors or the fanciness of the food did not make memories. The sincerity did. The connection did. The time together did.

It did not matter whether every last detail conformed to the signature colors. Instead of saying, “What a beautiful bouquet,” the guests said, “What a beautiful love.”

This is my wish to you, dear brides, as you pore over wedding magazines and read daily blogs. Some of it matters. Most of it does not. Casting your net in the wrong direction will most surely mean you miss the things you most dearly want to catch.

May your wedding be just one sincere, authentic, happiest day in a long line of many.

This is my wish to you.

All my best,


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Peonies and Polaroids said...

Thank you for this, it's just what I need to read in these last few days before the wedding.

It's been lovely to read through your blog and hear about how you made your wedding so special and it has reminded me what I really want to treasure about our day. So thank you.

I hope you don't mind that I have reposted this on my blog as I think it's something every bride should read!

Caltech said...

I love that! Thanks for posting.

jen said...

Unbelievably well said.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that I find some of this...contradictory? On the one hand you say that you wish bride-to-be to be herself, but then you also wish that she remember things that are important to you(but maybe not to her) and vic versa. I would much rather remember my invitations and decorations, because I enjoy crafting and making things like that, than I care about whether or not my dress and shoes are comfortable for dancing because I don't like dancing and don't intend on doing that.

Not to mention while you might say that the food does not make the memories, the connection and time together does, for a lot of people/cultures food is a very important part of hospitality and expressing love to family/friends.

Hannah Noel said...

Very beautiful and true!
I originally wanted to go all out with crazy embossed, handmade, breathtaking invitations--- but the more I thought about it, I realized I would be spending hours and hours of my time and money on something that was going to get thrown away as soon as the guest got the needed information from it.

thank you for posting this--- it's really nice be reminded of the basics!

JCGreen said...

What a beautiful posting!! So true!!

StylinGirl said...

I have printed out this advice and tucked it into my planner. Thank you Sara for the reminder that I hope will serve me well!

Anonymous said...

Thank you! What a wonderful reminder of what really matters.

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