Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Katie & Katie's Wedding Ceremony Script




July 5, 2009

Om Namah Bhagavate – Deva Premal

Katherine rings Tibetan bell to bring people together.


Get Ready – the Temptations

Jen and Katie A., then Susanna and Katie T. dance up to the front and take their places. Katie and Katie stand facing each other, with Katherine standing between and slightly behind. The wedding party forms a shallow “V”.


Katie A: We stand here today in the presence of people from many parts of our journey. You are the people who have been family for us. We know that you have loved and valued us separately as individuals.

Katie T: We ask that you continue to love and value us together as a couple. Today we make a covenant in our relationship, beginning a new part of our journey together. We appreciate your support and your love, and we are glad that you are here to celebrate with us.


Among us right now is the spirit of all that is sacred. As we bless each other with our presence, so too are we blessing Katie and Katie as we witness their act of marriage. Let us be fully present, honouring whatever state we are in as we come to this time of celebration. Let us breathe together silently for a moment to bring ourselves fully here…

Let Myself Fall – Rosie Thomas

WELCOME: Good afternoon, good people, and welcome to this wonderful ceremony of marriage for Katie Allen and Katie Theroux. I am Katherine Roback, a Lay Chaplain with the Unitarian Church of Vancouver. I am so honoured to marry these two fine women. They told me how thoughtfully their wedding integrates their values with themes of inclusiveness, authenticity, personhood. Today you, the people who are closest to them, witness and celebrate together, so that all of you here today become the wedding party! Imagine, participating in a wedding in this way. I invite you to take a moment to acknowledge one another’s presence, so you all feel included in this joyous experience. And please shut down anything that goes beep. At this time, you can take a moment to take a photo of our Katies and their attendants; then I would ask you to set aside your cameras during our sacred ceremony.


Katie and Katie, you have invited us to be with you today as witnesses to your affirmation of the happiness you have found together, and to the pledge of your covenant, made powerful in public.

You told me how your five-year relationship has evolved in strength and commitment. Your wedding marks neither a beginning nor an end in your relationship, but one step in a continuing process of change and growth. Growth is essential in marriage, as it is an essential part of life. Your relationship keeps unfolding into new dimensions, and as you can keep in step as you go forward together, your marriage becomes a source of new strength and insight.

Inevitably there will be mistakes; inevitably there will be times of tensions and conflict. But as these are openly acknowledged and faced, they can be turned from problems into opportunities, and you will find new meanings and richness in your shared life together.

READING: Habitation, by Margaret Atwood (read by Katherine)

Marriage is not

A house or even a tent

It is before that, and colder:

The edge of the forest, the edge

Of the desert

The unpainted stairs

At the back, where we squat

Outside, eating popcorn

Where painfully and with wonder

At having survived even

This far

We are learning to make fire.


Katie and Katie thank each other’s parents.

A marriage is above all else an intimate relationship between two persons. But is also has a wider effect in the lives of relatives and friends, and in community at large. Do you gathered here pledge your support to Katie and Katie in the commitment they celebrate today?

If so, please respond, `We do.' Response: We do!


1. Jen: “Respect for One Another” Albert Schweitzer

To know one another cannot mean to know everything about each other; it means to feel mutual affection and confidence, and to believe in one another. We must not try to force our way into the personality of another. No one has a right to say to another: "I have a right to know all of your thoughts"... In this matter giving is the only valuable process; it is only giving that stimulates. Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being to those who are on the road with you and accept as something precious what comes back to you from them.

Respect for One Another, by Albert Schweitzer, from Memories of Childhood and Youth

2. Susie: Kahlil Gibran, “On Marriage”

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the string of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart. And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran


Katie Allen, Do you arrive here today freely, willing to enter into marriage with Katie Theroux? If so, please respond, "I do".

Response: I do.

Katie Theroux, Do you arrive here today freely, willing to enter into marriage with Katie Allen? If so, please respond, "I do".

Response: I do.

PREFACE TO VOWS. (if holding flowers, please hand them to your attendants)

The vows you are making to each other today have no hidden meaning nor power within themselves. They simply express in words your continuing intention and commitment to each other.

In a world where the pressures pushing people apart often seem stronger than those drawing people together, your commitment to each other will need to be re-expressed in many different ways in the coming days, months, and years. The expression in today's vows is simply a visible milestone in your journey together.

I invite you now to join your hands as you repeat your vows. Cherish the touch, for you touch not only your own, but another life. Be sensitive to her pulse. Seek always to understand and to respect her rhythm.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS: Katie and Katie


For the next few minutes, Katie and Katie invite all of you to pass the rings between one another, pausing to say a prayer, a blessing, a best wish for the future, or simply warm them with your love, before passing them along.

And while you are doing this, Katie and Katie will sign the documents that legally affirms

their marriage. We all move to the signing table.

You and Me – Dave Matthews Band


Exchange Rings

Katie A holds Katie T’s left hand in hers, and places the ring as far as the knuckle: repeats after Katherine:

Katie, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and constancy for all the years ahead.

And gently twists ring fully on.

Katie T holds Katie A’s left hand in hers, and places the ring as far as the knuckle: repeats after Katherine:

Katie, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and constancy for all the years ahead.

And gently twists ring fully on.

PRONOUNCEMENT Celebrant joins hands with couple

Katie and Katie, you have sought and accepted each other joyously. May all that life brings to you strengthen the bond you have declared today. May your their loved ones, those present and those unable to be present, continue to rejoice in the warmth of the love that has united you. May you be comfort and joy, counsel and strength to each other. And may the home you will build shed its peace on you and all who seek its shelter with them. I am delighted to pronounce you married.

So be it. (enthusiastic cheers)


I invite you to seal your marriage with a kiss. And you do….

As we close this ceremony, I invite everyone to bless our happy couple with hugs.

CLOSING WORDS: “May the long time sun shine upon you, All love surround you, And the pure light within you guide your way on.

RECESSIONAL: You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

Katie and Katie, Jen and Susie, wait at the front for hugs!.

Just Say Yes – Ben Lee

One Big Love – Patti Griffin


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1 comment:

Claire said...

This is such a beautiful ceremony!!! Thank you so much for posting this - it made my day and almost made me cry.

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