Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Friday, June 5, 2009

It's About the Marriage, Not the Wedding



Sometimes, planning a wedding is really, really hard.

While I was in the midst of it, I tried to put on my sane hat. I tried to put on my rational hat. I tried to put on my normal hat and remind myself, "All of the little things that feel really, really big are actually very small."

Now that I've made it through to the other side, it's even easier for me to see how I obsessed about pretty inconsequential things (like photo stamps), and it's easier for me to see how a marriage is so much more important than a wedding. (My rational self kept reminding my irrational self of this fact during the planning process, but sometimes the irrational self would plug its ears and start humming.)

These photos from Rubyellen's Mother's Day celebration remind me of this idea: it's about our relationships and our lives together. It's about how we love and let ourselves be loved on a daily basis. It's about weaving a life together of laughter, meaning, purpose, and joy.

You can find the details over at her blog, cakies.




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6 comments:

SH said...

This is very true, and kind of a mantra for our wedding planning process. I think of the weddings I've been too (ever increasing), and what I remember about the weddings, keeping in mind that it's likely that's what people will remember about my wedding. And even if my wedding is one of the most important days in my life, I recognize that it is NOT one of the most important days in most of my guests' lives. Sure, they'll be excited, they'll have a great time, etc, but at the end of the day, they'll go home happy and we'll be married.

Maybe it's because we already live together, but our wedding seems more like a formality that anything else. Now, for me, buying a house, that's exciting and frustruating and exhilarating and annoying. We're also in the throes of that. Ugh, but hooray!, y'know?

megan said...

SH- I completely agree! You have such a good point about the guest not remembering one way or another. They will be more touched witnessing our love than witnessing our linens/chair covers/flower arrangements, etc. Good luck with the house! That's our next step.

Sara- I love these pictures. Laughter is one of the best parts of a relationship. I appreciate your injection a sane-ness into the weddin gworld, because whe I furst started planning, it never crossed my mind to keep it more sincere and less WIC-influenced. So thanks!

megan said...

*sorry about the typos everyone! lol. BTW, After about 20 mins of deliberation, I had to remind myself last night that guests wouldn't care or even notice if our candy sachets were white or champagne, lace or satin. Oh, the small thing we start worrying about.

LindsayBrink@Live.com said...

Hello there,

I am trying to make my own wedding invitations and although I am an experienced silk screener, stamp user/maker... I am having trouble with inspiration. I am hoping to print my invites on something other than paper. I thought putting something inside tins would be neat but that would cost too much in shipping. Any ideas? Thanks!

Cheers.

jenny said...

I have been falling in love with a guy for about a year. I am illusioned for my wedding day but it seems far away from me. We will be separated for about 5 years as working. I'm not sure what will happen in 5 years. Shall I insist on him?

Anonymous said...

I'm getting married in a year and I'm excited. I'm actually more excited to spending the rest of my life wit the person I love. I feel that it's more important for me to planning for my marriage. I take marriage very seriously and I feel that most people don't. I don't want to go into my marriage blindly. I want my fiance and I discuss things that will occur in our future. So preparing for marriage is something I'm looking forward to doing.

I had a family member give me some great advice. She said "a wedding is just one day". I have always taken her advice to heart. I honestly don't care about all that "stuff" at a wedding. I want a DIY wedding and I'm so excited to plan one. I want people to understand that weddings don't have to be fancy and expensive. My goal for our wedding is to have about 100 people at the wedding for way less than $10,000. I believe that my fiance and I will reach that goal! I want my fiance and I to remember our wedding day. I also want my family and friends to also remember that day as well.

In the process of planning for a wedding I do feel that people should take the time to plan for their marriage. Marriage is a lifetime and a wedding is just one day. :)

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