In case you haven't already figured it out, I'm a big nerd.
For example, when I was in my "dating phase," I created an Excel document that had a list of 170 things I was looking for in another person. Each criterion was assigned a value from 1-5 (with 1 being "not that important" and 5 being "non-negotiable"). For every person I dated (and even for people I wanted to date), I would attempt to give them a rating. I would read through each criterion and give them a 1 if they met it and a 0 if they didn't meet it. The 0 or 1 would then get multiplied by the value (1-5), and I could get a total at the bottom. The Excel program would then calculate the total percentage that each person met my ultimate criteria. (Just for the record, Matt scored the highest ever--96%).
And, in case you're wondering, here's a small sampling of sampling of the list:
- He has admirable principles and works hard to adhere to them.
- He turns off the water while he brushes his teeth.
- He doesn't want to discipline his children with spanking.
- He's not racist.
- He works hard.
- He pursues goals relentlessly.
- He has good grammar.
- He has a witty writing voice.
- He doesn't watch a lot of TV.
- He's always reading a book.
- He remembers birthdays and celebrates them creatively.
- He doesn't play video games at home.
- He doesn't let me boss him around.
- He's intent on reaching his intellectual potential.
- He doesn't draw a line between work and play.
- He never makes up statistics/sources/information.
- He likes to listen to NPR.
- He doesn't prejudge people.
- He's high on Kohlberg's scale.
- He can occupy himself with his own thoughts.
- He doesn't kill spiders.
- He's fiscally responsible.
- He doesn't spend a lot of time watching organized sports.
- He has a decent sense of direction.
- He doesn't have a lame username.
- He thinks strip shows are degrading and sexually unsatisfying.
For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the Myer's Briggs Test is a personality assessment that gives you insight into where you get your energy from, how you gather information from the world, how you make decisions, and how you use your time. You get a unique letter in each of the four categories, and your final personality type is one of 16.
I find the Myer's Briggs to be one of the most useful and insightful personality assessments on the market. It has given me a ton of things to think about in terms of my strengths and areas for growth. I think these kinds of tools are invaluable as we prepare for marriage. We have to know ourselves and know our partners. The more knowledge we have, the better equipped we are to navigate life together.
In case you want to take the test, here it is!