I thought I would share this message from a fellow kindred spirit:
And for those of you who do want to throw a bouquet or wear a frilly, poufy, scratchy dress--you're not crazy either.
My fiancé and I got engaged on Valentine’s Day '09 and our wedding is in two weeks. The past six months have been a whirlwind of ups and downs. I’ve learned so much about how commercialized weddings are. I’ve also learned a lot about myself, my fiancé, and our families.
I found your blog in June when I was freaking out about how we were going to pay for a wedding and googled “ on a budget”. Since then I’ve read your entire blog and am a different person because of it. I realize I’m not crazy for not wanting to throw a bouquet. I’m not crazy for not wanting to sit at a head table and have everyone watch me eat. I’m not crazy for not wanting to cut cake and have people take pictures. I’m not crazy for not wanting to wear a frilly poofy scratchy dress that costs as much as my car. I’m not crazy for not wanting to be center of attention and have everyone treat me like I’m royalty. I’m not crazy for not wanting my fiancé's mom to invite 30 of her friends that she hasn’t seen in 20 years and we have never met. I’m not crazy for wanting to invest in a down payment on a house that we can live in forever than a wedding for one day.
The point is that we all have to sift through the messages we've received and internalized about what a wedding has to be and instead create a wedding that represents us. It's that simple (and that complex).
And it's the same thing we have to do in life: sift through all the messages we've received and internalized about what we have to do to be successful or happy and instead carve out a life that authentically represents our deepest selves. Again, it's that simple (and that complex).
I'm reminded of this line in a poem by Mary Oliver:
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"