Yeah, we had this problem, too. My boss tried to invite herself! But before I talk about how to get out of it...
I want to state for the record that Matt and I chose to limit our number of guests to 80 for reasons other than our budget. We wanted to spend quality time with our guests. We wanted to dwell in deep conversation and linger. We wanted to truly be able to connect with our nearest and dearest, and we didn't want to feel like our wedding "flew by."
It's hard, though, to navigate the social awkwardness that arises when people assume they are invited. We only had two strategies for dealing with it:
- We let people figure it out for themselves. Most people figured it out pretty quickly when they didn't receive a Save-the-Date or an invitation.
- If they still didn't figure it out and they confronted us about it, we simply said, "It's a small wedding and we are only able to invite our closest friends and family."
It's tricky business, and there are no perfect answers. Just do the best you can. In the end, a few random people did slip into our wedding (as well as some wedding crashers!). It didn't detract from the quality time I spent with my friends and family (although I did confront the wedding crashers by asking them point blank, "Are you wedding crashers?").
2000dollarwedding kindred spirits, what strategies do you have for dealing with the guest list conundrum?