I've seen other couples say, "It's not worth the fight. At least we get to plan the honeymoon."
And still other couples take more of a middle-ground approach and try to balance their tastes, preferences, and desires with those of their families since--the argument goes--a wedding is also about the community.
I used to naively think that the family drama that comes up during the wedding planning process is the worst it gets. I used to think that whichever route you pick for yourself doesn't matter too much because regardless of how much family drama there is during the planning process, you'll likely be happily married in the end. And, once the wedding is said and done, it's a lot easier to see a wedding as one important day in a long line of many.
However, as Matt and I start to discuss birthing options (no, I'm not pregnant; I'm just a planner), I'm beginning to realize that there are potentially lots of ways in which family can contribute to (or interfere with--depending on your perspective) important life decisions. As I entertain the idea of giving birth at home or in a birthing center (if I get pregnant, that is), for example, I worry that all sides of the family will consider the decision unsafe and irresponsible. I anticipate very stressful conversations.
It just made me realize that how we choose to negotiate our weddings with our families can set important precedents. Of course you can renegotiate your family's influence on your life at any point, but it's worth thinking about the long-term implications of our initial decisions.
What route are you (or did you) take with your family? How did it work out for you?