However, no matter how much I planned or how much I tried to control the outcome, at some point, I had to let go. I had to be okay with the fact that some things didn't go according to plan.
Take, for example, our dog's role in the wedding. The original idea was that he would stand next to Matt's brother, John, and look cute in his matching bandanna (which coordinated with my sash, flower pins for the wedding party, and Matt's tie). He would be there to reflect our broader commitment to our growing family and he would be part of our effort to share our life with our friends and family.
However, things did not go according to plan. Right when the wedding started and everyone assumed their places, Hoss started throwing up. Yes, vomiting rather visibly and audibly. Maybe it was stage fright? Maybe it was eating too much grass while we mingled before the ceremony?
Instead of freaking out or considering it some kind of omen for a doomed marriage, I simply laughed. And I laughed hard. And Matt laughed and our wedding party laughed and our nearest and dearest in the audience laughed. And then I wasn't nervous anymore. It was the best comic relief-ice-breaker that could have happened to us.
And I'm reminded of my friend Amanda's wedding where the maid of honor dropped the ring during the ceremony and we could all hear it hit the ground. And then there was my friend Allison's wedding where the power went out and her former students started singing a cappella.
Most of the pictures we see on websites and magazines make everything look "perfect." It can be so easy to unconsciously internalize messages about how a wedding is a "Once-in-a-Lifetime" opportunity. It's easy to feel pressured to get everything just right. We can do our best to make it the best possible wedding for us, but then we have to let go of the reins and just let it be what it is. For better or for worse.