Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Postcard #5: The Details that Don't Matter (to Me)

I couldn't resist sharing the most un-blog-worthy wedding photo. Hilarious! Let me explain all the ways it is not a pretty, pretty wedding picture:
  1. The cakes are not coordinated in any way, shape or form. Matt and I opted for several smaller cakes from Whole Foods so we would save money and give our guests lots of options. But you know what? Those cakes were cheap and tasty.
  2. The cakes are not displayed on antique cake stands. They are displayed on cardboard. Thanks, Whole Foods, for at least using gold cardboard with scalloped edges. You really know how to help a bride out.
  3. The cake labels are bright green. Bright green! That just happened to be the paper we had leftover in our craft room probably because it was my second least favorite color in the pack! We used my least favorite color for our name tags.
  4. The tablecloth is one of those plastic kinds you can pick up at the grocery store, and it doesn't coordinate with the other tablecloths in any way, shape, or form. Matt and I did buy lots of vintage sheets to use as tablecloths, but I'm guessing we didn't have enough to cover all the tables, so the innkeepers let us borrow one of theirs. I didn't spend much time stressing about it. I was in the kitchen making guacamole, while Cathy, Cory, and a random assortment of our friends were setting up outside. By that point, I was done stressing about any details. I was just enjoying myself.

The danger of viewing too much pretty, pretty wedding porn is that we start to get skewed perspectives about what really matters to us. That is the most important question: What matters to you as a couple? Why? What do you want to put your time/energy/money into? Will it align to your bigger goals for your wedding and your life together?

Once you answer those questions for yourself, then you have to move forward with courage and conviction. It is so easy to doubt ourselves! We're already in an emotionally vulnerable state as we undertake a major life change. But that's also the perfect time to be true to ourselves and our values.



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14 comments:

Katie Ready said...

I could not agree more, Sara and I love your less than blog-worthy photo :) My fianee and I actually sat down just yesterday and made a list about what was important and what was not important to us in regards to our wedding. The further I get into planning the more I relize how unimportant all the fluff , pomp and circumstance is. It will be a day to celebrate us, our family and friends!

Tracy said...

I love your blog and your sensibilities. You are absolutely right about viewing too much wedding (or anything else for that matter) porn. It does skew your thinking and adds a lot of pressure/stress.

I *heart* you.

Angie said...

I really like this picture- it looks real, untouched, and also delicious.

And the fact that the labels are your least favorite color and the table cloth was not one of the vintage sheets your purchased, makes it fun. Even the pics that are not considered wedding porn are wonderful because you can look back and remember the story- sometimes the pretty pictures don't tell that.

Liezl said...

Keeping it real, as always.

Thank you, Sara, for being such a breath of fresh air! I always look forward to reading your words first thing in the morning. I must admit, the 'pretty, pretty wedding porn' is enticing...however, I can't help but laugh when the details that seemingly fit Couple X to a T look strangely similar to the details of every other couple out there.

[the wedding industrial complex strikes again]

You inspire! My fiance and I would like to express our gratitude to you :-)

Holley said...

love it!!
Props to you for not stressing over the small stuff. Or, at least not ALL the small stuff :)

A-L, said...

I know that you and Matt paid for the wedding yourselves, but did you ever encounter times when friends/family just did not see the vision or agree with you about what didn't really matter? For instance, we ordered our cake about a month ago. It's the yummiest cake anyone in our family has ever tasted. The cost however, was higher than I'd wanted. If we ordered it as 3 separate cakes (same size as the tiers) and had it decorated more simply than it would have cost about $135 less than having it stacked. I was willing to do this. But the family was not. It was more important to them than to us, and they're paying, so we went their way. But how do you get others on board with you?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, Sarah.

I needed this today.

Gillian said...

That is so a blog worthy photo! The cakes actually look like delicious food instead of plastic. Blogs should feature more photos of wedding details that are achievable and affordable rather than focusing on details outside of the realm of possibility for most couples.

Melissa said...

I think it is great that you stuck with what is more important to you. I think we all could stand to take a step back at times of major changes and think about what is truly important minus all the fluff and show. It makes for a much less stressful and happier day.

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Katrina said...

I love this post! and you know what, your cakes looked damn yummy!
:-) sending love your way!

Autumn Witt said...

What's funny is, today's post features two things we cared very much about. I still smile when I see the invitation suite I SLAVED OVER that my mother-in-law framed, that now hangs in a corner of our bedroom :)

But I bet there were other things we didn't give two hoots about that you spent much time and energy toiling over. Which just goes to show: pick a few things that matter to you, and don't stress about the rest.

Fuzzballette said...

THANK YOU! Enough said.

Avant-Wed said...

I bet your guests really loved those cakes and never would have thought about the green tags .. had you not posted the picture. :)

I love laughing at myself and this has inspired me to do more of that...

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