I have to be honest and say that I wasn't really looking forward to my third trimester of pregnancy. I have heard all kinds of horror stories about how tired I would be, how much my back would ache, how I wouldn't be able to sleep, how heavy I would be--the list goes on and on. I was also told that I would be tired of being pregnant and that I would just want the baby to come.
Well, tomorrow is my due date and my back hasn't yet ached. Yes, I have to pee all night long, but I fall right back asleep super-quickly. My belly doesn't feel very heavy at all. And, I'm not tired of being pregnant. I simply look at each day as another opportunity to savor my freedom and my spontaneity and my alone time with Matt.
The truth is, we have a lot of power to shape our own experiences, regardless of what well-meaning friends, family members, colleagues, and random strangers tell us. By walking 4-5 days a week, going to yoga once a week, religiously eating a healthy diet, napping every single day, minimizing my commitments personally and professionally, staying hydrated, and focusing on all the positives of being pregnant, I've been able to create a different reality for myself. That's not to say that we can control everything--I can't control the fact that my liver is starting to malfunction and my blood pressure is rising, but I can control my response to those problems.
Unfortunately, the same "You'll See" mentality affects wedding planning, too. There are so many cultural assumptions around what happens when you plan a wedding. We hear that your wedding will inevitably cost more than you think it will. We hear that you will inevitably have to make decisions to please other people--the list goes on and on.
But the truth is, each of our planning experiences is unique. We can have the kind of weddings we want for ourselves (and the kinds of pregancies we want and the kinds of careers we want). We can make decisions and cultivate our attitudes in ways that align with what we want for ourselves. Nothing is set in stone; nothing is inevitable. The choice is ours.
Of course it helps to hear about others' experiences, but we should be careful about whom we turn to for advice. The choices we make for ourselves definitely affect the outcome. By being intentional and mindful with our decisions, we can greatly influence our realities.