Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Wedding Planning Courage

My friends and I have a ritual every year at New Year's. We fill out a form to reflect on the previous year and set intentions for the new year. Then we make a collage to visually capture the kind of year we want to have in the upcoming months.

This year, my friend Beth had the awesome idea to start a blog about doing things that scare her. She wants to undertake a FearKick Challenge every week for the entire year to push herself out of her comfort zone, to try new things, to face anxiety head on, and to generally kick some major butt all year long. As we were talking about her fears and our own fears, I was also busy revising my book about how to plan a meaningful and memorable wedding without losing your savings or sanity. I was reminded of just how much courage it can take to step off the well-trodden wedding planning path and blaze a trail for yourselves that leads you to the place you want to go.

Then I got an e-mail from kindred spirit Elizabeth about her wedding. She wrote, "Everyone who was there said it was the best, most authentically joyful wedding they had been to. I never would have had the confidence to do much of that without your blog."

Confidence and courage can be such difficult things to muster when you're undertaking something monumental like planning a wedding. It's not like we get a lot of chances to practice. We have to be patient with ourselves if we experience any fear throughout the process. Fear is not the problem; our reaction to the fear has the potential to be the problem.

I'm looking forward to exercising my courage this year--to paying close attention to the space between my fear and my actions and not letting my fear hinder my actions. Here's to a year having the courage to make dreams happen!

Anyone else planning to do something that scares them this year?

Today on Feeding the Soil: My step-by-step plan for getting our house packed up and ready to move!

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Anonymous said...

Even though my wedding was 14 months ago, it's still hard to have the courage to do things differently. I still wonder, did I do it wrong? Why do I feel "left out" or "different" if what we did was right for us? What's the point of bucking the trend and not giving in to the WIC if I feel like I'm being difficult by not going along and having different values no one else seems to share.

I just agreed to be a friend's bridesmaid (one of many), but then I remembered another friend's wedding, and I don't like being a bridesmaid. I don't agree with the idea that the bride should dictate what other people wear and that that should cost a couple hundred dollars. Why is that equated with support and helping? I can be perfectly helpful without some dress the WIC forces on us. So now I'm thinking about backing out, (it's very early days) but that again brings up the feelings of being left out, being the different one, the one who doesn't just go along. Do I do what I believe and maybe cause problems or be a bit miserable and compromised for a friend?

Sara E. Cotner said...

Such good questions! The best we can do is ask ourselves the tough questions, push ourselves to answer honestly, and make adjustments as necessary (even if those adjustments are scary). Wishing you the best!

Anonymous said...

I'm the kind of person who doesn't always have the confidence to overcome my fears. It's so hard for me to accept change and try new things.

Now, that I'm getting married I'm going to be experiencing new adventures. In order for me to overcome my fears, I need to be okay with the changes that will happen in my life. I think that getting married and taking the next step in my life will be a good experience for me. If I can plan a wedding with out much help from others then than I can do all those other things I'm afraid to tackle. Hopefully, this will be a year that I learn to really overcome some of those fears I've been feeling for such a long time!

Sara E. Cotner said...

I'll be here rooting you on! You should definitely keep up with Beth's blog as she undergoes a year of really pushing herself. Fear stops us from realizing our fullest, truest selves. It's okay to feel the fear (we can't control that!), but we can control our actions. I'll be continuing to work on this myself, too!

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