Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Monday, January 7, 2008

I'm Naturally a "Pleaser"

My mom and I are just getting over a temporary row that saw me mistakingly not inviting my relatives, to inviting my relatives and cousins, to questioning my ability to plan for four levels of hotel expectations, to shouting over the phone, to making-up over email, to talking calmly on the phone and ending with "I love you." Leading me to say that that's not an ulcer in my stomach, that's wedding planning.

Negotiating the dynamics of planning a fiscally conservative and hands-on wedding by abandoning the traditional $26K budget, abandoning the role of groom as stoic and removed and the bride as princess-like and in a daze of flowers and gowns is something that is causing tension, if not on my family's side, in me.

I'm naturally a "pleaser," and it brings me great joy to bring others joy and comfort. So, in recent days to know that I am upsetting a balance between Sara and myself, or my parents and myself, leaves my nerves rattled asking whether holding a fringe wedding is worth its $2000 weight.

Rebounding from the past several days has provided me with greater insight into my family, Sara and into myself, fortifying my commitment to making this our day. And despite the immediate problems, calmer seas are ahead, though, and it seems the worst is behind us. Perhaps, like a band-aid, it will only hurt for a minute.

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