Downright Liberating

I keep saying the invitations are "done." In fact, they still aren't completely ready to be mailed. However, they are painted (on both sides), stamped, almost-addressed, and, now, personalized for each recipient.

In classic holiday card style (well, not really "classic" because I actually write more than a quick, cliched phrase on my cards), I wrote a personal note to each guest.

This past summer I spent the morning at the Goodwill (or some derivation thereof) helping my friend, Chris, shop for "black-tie optional" attire for our friend's wedding. The fellow didn't even own a suit. On his invite, I wrote: "If I told you that you could wear whatever the hell you want, would you be more likely to come?"

On a former boyfriend's card (who happens to be obsessed--god bless him--with minimizing our collective carbon impact), I wrote: "Do I at least get a tiny bit of credit for sending out postcards instead of real invitations? I am, indeed, afraid of Dante's modern level of hell: Carbon Dioxide that hasn't been offset."

Because I only invited people who add real meaning to my life and with whom I share real memories, the process was actually very quick and painless. (Editor's Note: I mean real "quick and painless," not rip-off-a-band-aid or wax-your-legs "quick and painless.")

It's funny how easy this entire process has been. By making a few key decisions upfront, we have simplified the entire planning process:

1. We're paying for the whole thing ourselves so we get to make all the decisions.
   
2. We're only inviting people with whom we are authentically connected.
   
3. We are not going to obsess about details that are actually very irrelevant to our guests' enjoyment or the grand scheme of the universe.
4. We are hosting a casual affair so everyone is more relaxed and more likely to have fun--including us.
   
5. We are making the festivities special with sincerity rather than money.

We have, in effect, deescalated the situation from the classic "ordeal" of the modern wedding to one of my new past times. Writing notes to my friends is fun. Embroidering on the bottom of my dress is relaxing. Not stressing about a photographer or a D.J. or a three-layer wedding cake with fake icing is downright liberating.

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