I was intrigued by this headline on The Knot: 10 Rules for Every Bride.I'm not a big fan of "rules" and I certainly don't like rules that come from the Wedding Industry, but I actually found many of their ten items very helpful.
A few of my favorites:
1. I can live without lady's slipper orchids.
2. I won't make my bridesmaids look like clones.
3. I won't invite my second cousin's fling.
4. I won't obsess over my registry.
8. I won't have unrealistic weight expectations.
Their explanations are very compelling and insightful. For example, I very much appreciated this recommendation:"If you find that you're being attracted to things that will have your budget bursting at the seams, it's time for a reality check. Ask yourself: What will those fragile flowers (or whatever your expensive obsession is) truly add to my wedding? If the answer is just 'impressed glances from five in-the-know female guests,' then you're better off spending that dough on something more people will appreciate."
Unfortunately, I was disgusted by one in particular:
"I won't stress out about his bachelor party.
What happens on his stag night is totally out of your control and not for you to know or ever find out. He wouldn't be marrying you if he didn't vastly prefer being by your side instead of being surrounded by 10 intoxicated buddies and expensive entertainment named Bambi. 'Nuff said."
What? You're going to build your marriage on a foundation of dishonesty? This recommendation makes me queasy.
5 comments:
I agree with you on the flower recommendation. Was it your blog that listed the 5 minute, 5 day & 5 year rule?
However, I don't think the recommendation about the bachelor party isn't about lying. I trust my boyfriend to not have strippers around & I think that's what the magazine is saying. If you trust that your man loves you & wants to be with you, you should be able to trust him to not disregard your relationship by doing something stupid. However, in trusting him, that means you don't become a huge snoopy bridezilla & hound him about it.
What happens on his stag night is totally out of your control and not for you to know or ever find out.
Yes, it's 'out of your control' like all of his other actions. That doesn't mean you can't have an opinion, discuss it with him, let him know what your boundaries are.
And as for 'not for you to know or ever find out' - that's just ridiculous. Why do people expect to behave so differently just because they're getting married? If he wouldn't normally keep his activities secret from you, why do it now?
I agree with Guilty Secret...the idea that we should act differently than ourselves for a "last hurrah" before marriage peeves me. We're skipping a lot of wedding traditions that make us want to puke, and I think this might be one of them.
Ordinarily, I agree with everything you say (err...type), but as far as bachelor parties go, I think the knot is right.
If you trust your partner (and I should hope you do, if you're marrying them), then you should trust them and their judgment where the bachelor party is concerned, even it does include strippers and copious amounts of booze.
If you don't...then you need to ask yourself - why not?
I think the point was that some women would flip out if they knew that there was a stripper at their fiancé's bachelor party. So the question is, why? Do you not trust him? Etc.
I think it's sad that the definition of feminism has gotten so twisted that it's no longer about being equal, but berating and policing the men in our lives. Because, of course, WE can do what we want, but THEY aren't capable of being decent individuals without us. *gag*
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