Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tip #11: Ideas for Building Successful Relationships

Be good to each other, even in the most stressful, demanding moments.

2009 is off to a rough start for Matt and me. First we had both our cars stolen from our driveway in the middle of the night. We had to cancel all our credit/bank cards because Matt's wallet was in his car (don't ask me why). Then Matt's car was recovered later that day (with about $500 worth of damage). Fortunately, his wallet was still there!

Five days later, Matt had his wallet and his rental car keys stolen at a gas station. Basically, he left them in a bathroom stall, realized it 15 seconds later, went back to the bathroom, asked the guy who was coming out, went back into the stall to look, and followed the guy out of the gas station to ask for his stuff again. The guy yelled that he didn't have Matt's stuff.

Well, the guy did have Matt's stuff, so we had to pay $225 to get another key for the rental car. We also had to cancel all our credit cards (again!), since we had already been sent replacements.

Yesterday, on my way home from Dallas to Houston, I ran out of gas just one mile away from the gas station (I'm totally accepting responsibility for that one!). We had to pay $61 for roadside assistance.

Egad! It's definitely causing stress on our relationship. We fall into arguments really easily when we're stressed/tired/frustrated with life.

On the bright side, it's good practice for the roller coaster that is existence. We aren't always going to be able to control the ups and downs (although we could prevent some of them by being a little more careful!). However, we can control our reactions to those downs. In those anxiety-ridden moments, we can stop and say, "At least we have each other."

When the world around us is unsettled, we need to do our best to keep the center stable. Fighting or getting frustrated with each other only makes the situation worse.

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AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

I do agree in this one. and i agree that i'm awful about this... one of those things where you are meanest to the ones you love most... It's something I'm definitely trying to stop... i can't let stress control me! :) Great Pointer!


Jessica Horton said...

WOW... 2009 has sucked for you two! Think of it this way... at least it can't get much worse... it can only get better!!

Did they ever find your car??

Anonymous said...

Your year is really sucking! I can't believe you had to cancel all of your cards twice! I guess it can only get better from here... Hang in there!

Hannah said...

Goodness, lady! I'm so sorry you're having a rough time!!
Just thing-- you're getting all the bad stuff out all at once at the beginning of the year instead of dealing with little bits of it along the way! (I'm sure that doesn't help, does it? haha)

I hope things get better!

V. Wetlaufer said...

Yikes, you have really been going through some rough stuff. It is great to read this through your positive-attitude lens, though. When my partner was set to move down to Fla. to be with me after a year of being apart, I got home after being gone for a month (to my brother's wedding and a camping trip with my partner) to find that my upstairs neighbor's water heater burst and flooded my apartment, destroying most of my belongings, including my first wedding dress. I had the apartment perfect for my partner's arrival, and then there was disaster and I was freaking out and had to move etc etc etc but I've never been prouder of us as a couple because I basically had nothing left but her (and the camping stuff in my car), but we made it through because we stayed positive and focused on what we did have. It sounds like you and Matt are doing this too, and that is so important.

Hang in there and I hope that things get better for you both!


Anonymous said...

Here's to hoping that things look up soon! :)

Anonymous said...

Things will get better! And you're completely right about the fact that we can control our reactions. It's something I constantly have to remind myself, but I'm hoping will become more innate. And I don't know if I've ever commented before, but I am definitely an admirer of yours! Call it a blog-crush if you will! :)

Lee said...

I'm sorry you've had such rotten luck! Have you ever heard that bad things happen in 3's? I think things will start looking up for you soon!

Good advice on keeping the center stable when everything else is difficult. I am so bad at this! As a newlywed it sounds like a great place to start building a good marriage.

Here's hoping life gets a little less stressful for you!

Mrs. Andi said...

Even if it's a horrible time, at least it's an adventure & you two are together! & you'll be able to look back (like now!) & laugh about it.

Ten Thousand Only said...

who initiates most of the 'centering'? or are both of you good at it?

Sara E. Cotner said...

@ Ten Thousand Only: I guess I would say Matt initiates more of the let's-not-fight-like-this kind of centering. I usually get emotional and angry, and he's good about calming us down.

Jennifer said...

All I can say is that for the rest of the year, you two better have only good things come to you. So much stress in so little time is enough to make anyone crazy. Agreeing with Mrs.Andi, you will surely laugh about this in the future and you have a great story to tell. :)

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