Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wedding Planning Worries

I hate going to the dentist.

I mean I really, really hate it. Maybe it's because I used to lie to my parents. "Yes, I brushed my teeth," I used to say.

Then they took me to the dentist. Six cavities later, everyone realized I hadn't really been brushing my teeth.

(In fact, I need to go to the dentist. If any of you Houstonites know a really, really good one, please let me know!)

Despite my aversion to the dentist, I do make myself go every 6-12 months. And I hate it.

But I get through it by challenging myself to project myself into the future. While I'm in the middle of the visit, I try to envision myself after the visit is over.

Seriously, as my teeth are getting scraped and prodded and poked, I think about how much better I will feel once I'm walking out of the office.

The truth is, my dentist visits aren't bad anymore because I actually do brush my teeth now (I even floss religiously). But, in the moment, I'm still overcome with anxiety and dread. To help myself get through it, I have to think about how differently I'll feel once it's all over.

Bear with me as I connect dental dread to wedding planning...I really do have a point coming up.

You see, there are all sorts of things that I felt anxiety about while planning my wedding. Silly things. Things that seemed to matter so much at the time, but in retrospect, they really weren't a big deal.

Like photo stamps. I really, really wanted photo stamps for our invitations. But they weren't in the budget, so we resisted. And you know what? I couldn't give a hoot about those photo stamps now that the wedding is over. (Don't get me wrong, they would have been a nice touch, but they weren't anything worth stressing about.)

There are other things, too. Like the food at our Welcome Picnic. I wanted to have the event professionally catered by a deli. It was the first official event of our wedding, and I wanted to give people a nice welcome. But again, it was out of our budget. A friend suggested that we do a make-your-own-sandwich bar instead. I wasn't too happy with that option, but we didn't have much choice.

And again--now that the wedding is over--I realize it didn't make or break the wedding. It was fine! People were so excited to reunite with each other and meet new people. It really didn't matter.

Regardless of what your budget is, you'll probably have to make some compromises. And before you let yourself get too worried or disappointed about those compromises, just project yourself into the future and ask yourself: How will I feel about this when I'm happily married to the love of my life?

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Anonymous said...

My wedding is 9 months away and I am having nightmares every night about the details!! Thanks for your post- it's truly not important in the long run! How do I tell my sub-conscious that?

AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

This is great advice. I'm currently contemplating lighting... and i thought to myself, with or without lighting my wedding will be memorable... who'll remember the lighting...and i've decided... maybe a few uplights (I can spare 75 bucks), but nothing overly dramatic! :)


Authentically U said...

Let's see if I can get through this comment without reliving my own dental fears and anxiety. You brought it all back :-) However, you have some really good points and thanks for sharing. There this one thing that I really, really want for my wedding but it's not in the budget. A fireworks show! It's only like $2000 which I think is a really good deal. But really, am I going to save $2000 for it? nope! maybe there's a contest, or I can stand outside the grocery store with a bucket and see how many coins I get! oh well. Maybe, lik eyou said, in the end, it won't matter. But I really want it!!

Catfish said...

Dr. Nab at Midtown Dental is the best. I recommend him to EVERYONE. They never make me feel guilty for not flossing.

Shelley G. and Karima W. turned me onto your blog. Even though I'm not planning a wedding, I like the DIY ideas.

I put directions for making some cool DIY clipboards on my blog (http://lt-green.blogspot.com/2009/01/diy-sunday.html) that I thought might make a good attendants' gift. I've been a bridesmaid at least 5 times, and it would be much better to get something homemade and useful than some jewelry that matches the bridesmaid dress.

Hannah said...

Good advice!!!
That's a very good way to look at things!!
Is it weird that I do the same thing? If I have a headache, stomach ache, or when I broke my nose, or if I'm at the doctors office, or have to get a shot--- I make myself think stuff like,

"In less than 5 minutes, the shot will be over!" or, "Give me an hour, and I'll feel better again!"

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful advice, Sara! Thanks for sharing.

MJ said...

I used to live in Clear Lake. If Dr. Don Allen is still there, he did a lot of work on my mouth after years of flossing neglect. Even then (over 10 yrs ago) his office had TVs, headphones, etc. for distraction and were very understanding. Having bad teeth and gum genes and then other stuff going on hasn't helped, so I'm very sensitive. One thing that's helped me at my last dentist is getting them to use the numbing gel (that they use before shots) on my gums when they do the poking around the teeth with that metal probe, and for the cleaning. I have some sensitive spots and I always dreaded when they would inevitably hit one, so I tensed up on top of it all. The numbing has helped a lot. I happened to ask about it once (probably joked when getting other work done) and they said oh sure, all you have to do is ask. Oh, and one other tip, if you have friends or coworkers with small children, ask who their dentist is and if they like the person - those good at handling scared small people often do well with tense adults.

Anonymous said...

I really like Paul Winter a lot. I've been to a lot of dentists who reminded me of Charletans and Snake Oil salespersons. Paul Winter's office does not have all the frills and gimmicks as many other dentists in the area, but he knows his stuff really well and doesn't get me to try to buy things I don't need. I trust him more than any other dentist I've been to.

If you want a more fun choice for a dentist, Memorial Park Dental gives you free teeth whitening and a free 30-minute massage with your regular cleanings! They even have a fancy website: http://memorialparkdental.com/

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