Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Disturbing Wedding Advice #7

Dear David's Bridal,

For a large number of people, planning a wedding is not easy. Of course there is excitement and eager anticipation, but there is also a lot of anxiety.

Some of us are anxious about how to plan ideal weddings that fit within our budgets. Some of us worry that even though we have modest budgets we're still spending too much on one-day celebrations. Some of us have anxiety about how to reconcile the kind of wedding we want with the kind of wedding our partners want with the kind of wedding our parents want with the kind of wedding our partners' parents want with the kind of wedding magazines tell us we ought to have with the kind of wedding blogs show us we should have. Some of us worry whether our guests will enjoy themselves. Some of us worry about hurting other peoples' feelings (What do we tell our friends who aren't in the wedding party? What do we tell colleagues and second cousins who aren't invited to the wedding?). Some of us wonder why our partners aren't into the planning process as much as we are. Some of us wonder why it is that we find ourselves thinking about our weddings ALL THE DAMN TIME even though we are perfectly rationale beings with many, many passions beyond the scope of our weddings.

As you can see, the wedding planning community has enough pressure as it is. David's Bridal, we do not need to hear subtle statements from you that serve to increase our anxiety, such as this statement from a recent press release: "Amidst troubling economic times, a wedding is still the most important day in a couple's life."

Yes, a wedding is a great day in a couple's life. It is meaningful and memorable.

But it is not--by any stretch of the corporate imagination--the Be-All-End-All of our lives. A wedding
is a wonderful opportunity to proclaim and celebrate our love and commitment, but it commemorates an official beginning, not an end. We have many opportunities ahead of us for "important" days in our lives as a couple.

Yes, we can put time/energy/money into creating the kinds of weddings we want, but we need to remember that this isn't our one chance to have our most important day.

Stepping down from my soap box,


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Hadeel said...

::slow clap::

Absolutely wonderful. If I wasn't in a Library, I'd yell an Amen for you.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand David's Bridal. They are horrible with customer service. When I went, they scoffed at my plans of a 2 year engagement, and said they could send me home with some catalogs (after I'd driven 40 mins to get there). They said if I signed up with their registry, they would let me try on 3 dresses, but only 3. Then, the lady asked me if I was supposed to have parent there! WTF? I'm 21 with my own damn money, princess. Don't condescend me. HOWEVER, it came out something like, "No, I make my own decisions, thank you."

On a different note, I was at the Bridal Extravaganza and started talking to a lady from Ventura's Bridal in Houston. She was SUPER nice and talked to me for, like 1 mins...she ended up being Mrs. Ventura herself. It put that David's Bridal clerk to shame.

Anonymous said...

*10 mins...oops. :)

B said...

Well said!

Kaitlin Wainwright said...

I`ll shout an "Amen!" on Asia`s behalf!!! My coworkers were reading over my shoulder in disguist.

Thank you, Sara, for continuing to keep a many of us grounded.

mimi said...

thank you for that! that really made me feel better about all of this wedding planning and fretting! you made my day.

Sarah said...

That's horrible! Ugh. A relationship is made up of lots of little days. Besides, wouldn't the most important day be the one where the couple met? ;)

To be fair to David's Bridal, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and we had to get dresses from there (so we could coordinate colors and dresses from Idaho to Ohio to Maryland), and I had a pleasant experience. I did my research beforehand, walked in, and handed the salesperson the numbers to the three dresses I was interested in Pearl Pink (shudder), and for the ones that weren't in Pearl Pink, they could order them. She brought 'em to me in my size, a size below, and a size above. I walked out the store with a dress that needed no alterations on sale for $80. Can't complain!

the un-bride said...


Brenda said...

Thanks Sara

Anonymous said...

amen! thank you for saying what needs to be said!!

Tree Hugging Mother said...

Thank you so much for putting this out there! I went to david's bridal once, even though I really had no intention of buying a dress from them. I felt as though it would be fun for my brides maids and i to try on dresses just as a measure of bonding. It was one of the single worst experiences I've had throughout my wedding process. These women were rude, they were crass, and completely unskilled in how to handle customers. Setting aside the fact that its a money hungry corporation - their dresses are so generic, and they try to make you pay outrageous prices, for everything!! Every bride -- regardless of their budget-- should strive for a sense of autonomy much greater than the overpriced lack there of offered at davids.

bridebug said...

Thanks Sara, that's exactly how I feel today. I can't stop thinking about the details of our wedding...then panicking about the cost!

ChiBrideToBe said...


sera said...

And again. thank you.

LaurenCrane said...

If it's all downhill from the wedding, then we're eloping!

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