I get a little mad when I hear the phrase: "Your wedding is your one chance to ______."
Phrases like that put too much pressure on couples who are planning a wedding. The myriad choices start to feel overwhelming, if you only have one chance to make it perfect.
I prefer to live according to the idea that there are lots of opportunities to bring together your nearest and dearest to celebrate and party.
Case in point: Some of my friends and I have decided to plan our 10-year Teach For America reunion. (Gulp! It's been ten years since I entered the 2000 South Louisiana corps!)
I'm excited to have another chance to plan an event that focuses on community, connection, commitment [to closing the achievement gap], and fun!
I'm thinking we should rent a house boat on the bayou, cook communal meals, and go to the Festival International de Louisiane...
8 comments:
Excellent point. There's so much pressure to create the perfect this or the perfect that. No one person or thing is perfect. In fact, I find much beauty in the broken. Embrace imperfection!!
I was reminded of this exact thing over the weekend when my husband and I threw a party to celebrate his graduation. Our families and friends were there, and we loved bringing everyone together again. Our wedding was on the more fancy side, and this was our chance to have an outdoor picnic-with s'mores and bocce- kind of party.
The choices you make for your wedding are choices about one party. Having a backyard wedding doesn't mean you'll never have a fancy party, and having a country club wedding doesn't mean you'll never have a BBQ party. The whole "this is the ONE time for this ONE party, the BEST one of your whole LIFE and the ONLY one you'll ever have" is so silly and puts so much unnecessary pressure on everyone involved.
Our wedding was the first party we threw for our families and friends, certainly not the last. A lifetime of parties indeed!
p.s. photos from our graduation party this past weekend are here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/intermittent/sets/72157621393895558/
Yep, we've gotten so many comments about the music, flowers, and slideshow.
It's still going to be fun and pretty people! It's us and it's great so it's all good. Well said Louise!
Excellent point, Sara!
I feel so fortunate to have a huge network of friends, which is composed of several sub-groups representing different times in my life: childhood and high school, college, post-college in DC, time spent abroad, Denver friends...etc.
I feel even more fortunate that friends from each area of my life have met and connected in such a way that it's never awkward for me to bring a college friend to a party with my friends from DC, or plan a dinner with my Denver friends when my girlfriends from high school visit.
And I feel extra-doubly fortunate that EVERYONE in my extended network of friends is committed to creating (and maintaining) opportunities to spend time together and have fun. For example, my friends from DC and I rent a house in the mountains for President's Day weekend every year. And every August, my Denver friends head up to Cottonwood Pass for our annual crawfish boil. Another couple always hosts an Oscars party, while another always hosts a Halloween party, etc, etc, etc.
It's really fantastic and it freed us from thinking that our wedding was our ONE opportunity to have all of our favorite people in one place.
aha! a ten year TFA reunion... this is a GREAT idea. starting to plan Delta '05 immediately.
This is a great point. I hate how weddings make marriage seem like the ultimate goal achieved, the best thing you can do in your life.
I might get my book published, get my PhD, get a job, but my brother got married and had a wedding! Now THAT'S an accomplishment.
We should celebrate everything.
Sweet! Louisiana has many a great water scenes to have a house boat on. Party and connect on!!!
I so agree with you about the wedding not being your "one and ONLY chance to" anything. I think that's the source of most of the insanity surrounding them.
Two things that keep me & the Mr. sane: 1) we're both actors, so we get to play dress-up on a fairly regular basis, and 2) we agree that it's not Let's Pretend We're Rich Day.
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