Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Pre-Marital Activities

One of the activities Matt and I did at our pre-marital class (which was actually, um, post-marriage) was talk about our independent visions for our relationship.

Step One:
  1. Each partner independently reads through a list of words and circles the five that really capture the essence of your relationship.
  2. Then each partner takes a turn explaining to the other partner what they circled and why.
It's a really simple activity, but helps foster a conversation about what is important to each of you. Matt and I ended up circling very similar words (40% of them were identical), and the follow-up conversation reiterated that we are very much on the same page about what is important to us in our relationship. I won't tell you what our particular words were because I don't want to bias your thinking about your own relationship!

Here are some sample words to choose from:
  • Warm
  • Trust
  • Honor
  • Known
  • Respect
  • Open
  • Spirit
  • We
  • Belonging
  • Security
  • Bond
  • Attachment
  • Fulfilled
  • Accepted
  • Fun
  • Parent
  • Companions
  • Kindness
  • Loyalty
  • At peace
  • Cherish
  • Connected
  • Sincere
  • Soul
  • Support
  • Us
  • Treasure
  • Supportive
  • Love
  • Gentle
  • Complete
  • Passionate
  • Romance
  • Close
  • Caring
  • Team
  • Committed
  • Sharing
  • Laughter
  • Sex
  • Unity
  • Reliable
  • Encouraging
  • Responsible
  • Friendship
  • Closeness
  • Heart
  • Oneness
  • Understood
  • Future
  • Compromise
  • Pure
  • Empathy
  • Considerate
  • Together
  • Strength

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Mia said...

Interesting, thank you!

Karuna said...

Would you consider posting more of these types of "activities" from your classes? Where we live there seem to be very limited options for those of us who do not wish a religious bend be put on our premarital workshop. We have already invested in Happiness for two and think likewise that investing in a healthy future for our life together starts now. Thanks!

Sarah said...

This is great. Thanks for sharing and for spending time on your blog discussing the point of the wedding- the actual relationship! I would welcome anything else you're willing to share on this, like Karuna noted above it can be difficult to find secular pre-marital education options.

Chica de mente ocurrente said...

I will do this with my guy... thanks!

alishaneva said...

Thanks! I'm pretty sure Loverboy and I will be sitting down in the future to look over these and such. It'll be interesting to see where we agree (and therefore, I suppose, disagree)!

A Los Angeles Love said...

What if I need to choose more than five?! But really, this sounds like a great exercise. I can't wait to do pre-marital counseling ourselves!

Autumn said...

I've read the post about the counseling class y'all were able to find in Texas. I think we'll be in California before we get married, and I can't seem to find anything similar for that state. I search and all I get is private therapists.

Any ideas where I might find a list of resources or something?

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