There are a lot of in-between moments associated with a wedding. There are moments that don't fall into the buckets of "ceremony," "reception," "rehearsal dinner."Take this moment, for example. We were on the back patio of the B&B where we stayed with most of our friends, which also happened to be the location of the welcome picnic and reception. There are tables that aren't shown in the photo. This one happens to contain my best friend (the one with only the back of his head showing), some of my closest friends from college, and one of my Montessori teaching colleagues. My ex-boyfriend, Jeff, is wearing a tutu because of a bet he lost with our other friend, Paul (something about an LSAT score). My former college roommate, Marsha, is taking the picture. I'm wearing my most comfortable ensemble: pajama pants, flip-flops, and sunglasses.
This is how we spent every morning of the entire weekend. On Friday, there were only a handful of friends who had arrived the evening before and were able to join us for breakfast. On Saturday and Sunday, the group swelled. On Monday, it was down to just two of my good friends.
Each morning, we would congregate on the patio and indulge in a delicious breakfast cooked by the innkeepers, Cathy and Cory. Matt and I intentionally planned to spend the first two hours of the day this way for our entire wedding weekend. We wanted to chill, eat good food, and chat with our friends.
It's the in-between moments that craft a wedding as much as the other "events." It's these moments that create the spirit of your celebration. Thinking about what you want from the in-between moments can be just as important as planning the major events.
Matt and I had to be "Type-A" and plan a schedule for ourselves that included downtime, in order to not be Type-A during our actual wedding weekend. In other words, we had to plan ahead specific time to relax in order to ensure we had the space we needed to relax and immerse ourselves in the moment. If we had not carved out that kind of space for ourselves, we could have easily found ourselves running here and there and being shuttled from one thing to another.
Interestingly, we wouldn't have had these moments, if we had prioritized other things during our venue selection. For example, we were debating between Sunshine Mountain Lodge and another similar place. The other place had more aesthetically pleasing cabins and land. It was tempting to pick it for those reasons alone. However, I am so, so glad we prioritized more important things, like a relationship with the innkeepers. Sure our venue had moose paraphernalia everywhere, and we essentially had our reception in a parking lot (at least it wasn't paved). But we also got delicious, wholesome breakfasts prepared by two amazing individuals who went out of their way to make our event special in myriad ways.
Different couples should obviously plan the kind of in-between moments that work for them. Some people want to spend hours at a spa getting pampered with their closest friends. Others want to be surrounded by family. Still, other couples might prefer to be entirely alone, hiking or doing another one of their favorite activities together.
The choice is yours!
5 comments:
Is it wrong to 'hope' this happens because it doesn't seem possible that anyone will be willing to actually commit to a brunch or wouldn't appreciate having any extra demands on their time?
Reading about your wedding really encouraged me to plan downtime for myself during my wedding weekend (since I am also TYPE A, I had the whole darn weekend scheduled). One of my favorite times was a long walk I scheduled with my dad and stepmom, an breakfast afterwards. I knew that my mom and sisters would be more assertive and demand my time all weekend, but my dad and stepmom might fade into the background if I weren't thoughtful about spending time with them. Here's to being mindful!
I think this is a good point, and I also like Autumn's idea of carving out special time with people who might otherwise get overlooked.
I'm just wondering how this kind of chilling out and bonding time can occur outside of the wedding "events" when not all of the guests are staying at the same location. Something to stew on, that's for sure!
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vishnu
I love this idea of "in-between moments." One of my biggest fears about our wedding is that some guests will feel like we didn't really care that they were there -- or even excluded -- and this sounds like a great way to incorporate time with everyone without squeezing it into a 5-hour reception. We're getting married on a holiday weekend and had thought about telling guests about a bunch of random events so they could see us at various times - it's nice to have a name/purpose for this plan!
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