Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Finding Balance

This past weekend, Matt asked me to travel to Indiana with him to spend time with his family for his brother's college graduation. The whole family was also signing up to run in a race in Indianapolis. Matt, his mom, and his brother were signing up for a half marathon.

When he asked me to go with him six months ago, I came really, really close to signing up for the half marathon. By "close," I mean that I e-mailed Matt and said, "Sign me up for the half!" Then I found a training program online and even transferred the training schedule to my calendar (in pen, no less!). I was prepared to train for months, doing increasingly long runs (which would have required a lot of time because I am a very slow runner).

A few minutes later, I came to my senses and realized that running a half marathon was not on my list of life goals. I almost committed myself to months and months of training (with really long runs!) in order to pursue something that wasn't authentically aligned with my self.

So I signed up for the 5k instead. And boy was I thankful. Matt's dad, other brother, and I all ran our quick three miles, went back to the hotel, showered, ate a delicious breakfast buffet, and then went to the finish line to watch the rest of the family finish.

I'm still astounded by how close I came to devoting significant time, energy, and dedication to something I wasn't even passionate about. I think it's an easy trap to fall into. Running long races is one of Matt's passions, and I enjoy spending time with him. But that doesn't mean that running races has to be my hobby, too.

On the other hand, it's good to stretch ourselves and introduce ourselves to new hobbies and interests. The 5k was a good compromise. I got to be an active participant in the weekend's festivities, but I didn't have to devote large chunks of my free time to training. Phew!

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RebeccaLynn said...

My FH and I went through something similar-figuring out how to participate in each other's interests. I started marathon training last year, and he wanted to be active with me. I was much more driven (he said I was like a drill sergeant, had one track focus-which I will not dispute...is my nature), and he was doing it mostly for fun/fitness and spending time with me. Our training ended when he topped out at 8 miles, and he told me it wasn't fun to run with me anymore. So, we run 10k's together, which is fun, and they don't tax his feet or our relationship so much. We had to find the balance in sharing an activity I had enjoyed alone and now we enjoy together, without wanting to strangle one another :)

Melissa (Avid Reader) said...

I ran that mini in Indy last year and we were exhausted afterwards! I think you made the right choice in your own time management. You still participated without sacrificing months of your time to training.

Princess Christy said...

Thanks for sharing this... I'm dating a runner and have picked it up. He just finished a half marathon at the beginning of the month, and I know I'm no where near ready for that... I'm glad you shared your journey!

Tatamwari said...

This post really grabbed my attention. My boyfriend and I met through our mutual like of rock climbing. Now, we both climb together all the time, but he's definitely more serious about it than I am. I'm still trying to find a way to balance participating in this activity that we practically built our relationship on, developing new hobbies that we do separately, and finding other ways for us to spend time together. Thanks for sharing your story.

Anonymous said...

A 5K is still quite an accomplishment in my book!!!!! Congrats on running!!!

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