Continue to nurture friendships outside of our marriages.When you find your Partner-in-Awesomeness, it can be so tempting to just wrap yourselves up in the cocoon of togetherness (at least it's tempting for me to do that). I am perfectly content going out to eat with Matt, coming home, watching a movie, and falling asleep. I love going running with him and then having a picnic brunch at our favorite park. I am a home-body to begin with, and it's even worse now that I have a roommate who I want to be around all the time!
Needless to say, I have to make a concerted effort to maintain my friendships outside of my marriage. My best friend, Andy, and I do a good job of talking on the phone frequently, but we don't spend enough quality time together in person because he lives in Florida and I live in Texas.
We decided to rectify the situation by traveling to a yoga retreat in the hills of Massachusetts. We timed our arrival times just right, and our planes landed within an hour or so of each other. Then we rented a car to travel from Hartford, CT to Lenox, MA.
The retreat was amazing! The location is stunning. Stunning! We signed up for the "Rest and Relaxation" retreat, which meant that we didn't have any obligations. Each day, we simply looked over the list of class offerings and chose what we wanted to do that day. We went hiking and kayaking, did yoga and yoga dance, attended personal development workshops about meditation and nutrition, ate three amazing meals a day, and spent lots of time reading, resting, and chatting. It was the perfect way to get away from it all and reconnect with my best friend. The total cost for four days and three nights (in a double room with a hall bathroom) was $537.
Even when Matt and I have a baby and our lives get busier (and that cocoon of awesomeness is even more tempting!), I hope I always remember to cultivate my self and my friendships beyond that cocoon....
4 comments:
You are so right, it is really important to keep friendships outside of your relationship.
its even more hard when both you and your friend have partners with whom you would prefer to spend most of the time with.. just finding the time is so difficult.
but i will try to make an effort too!
wow your retreat sounded so lovely!
Needed to hear this, Sara. Everyone's telling me the same thing. It's not easy, especially as all of my close friends are in the Philippines, so I'm also trying to cultivate friendships here. Adult friendships aren't as easy, though. :/
Wow, I was just thinking about this topic earlier this morning. And I can totally relate . My best friend is 800 miles away, and my closest friends are scattered across the country. So we talk on the phone, and we have trips to see each other, but it's hard, especially when there's sometimes significant expense involved (i.e. it's best if our college friends all decide on a trip together rather than having to have separate trips to visit each friend).
As Therese said, it's much harder to cultivate friendships as an adult. But it's something I'm working on, both for us as a couple as well as for me individually.
this really resonates with me! i met my husband in the US when he was taking a year out from his degree to work and then I followed him to the UK when he returned to finish. It's been really hard to make friends of my own (luckily i get along with his really well!) since i'm not working yet and am not in school.
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