Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Postcard from Our Wedding

I love this picture of my grandparents watching our wedding ceremony.

I'm reminded, though, that it wasn't always smooth sailing when we were in the throes of wedding planning.

For example, when I asked my grandfather to speak during our ceremony, he responded with, "I don't think so."

My grandfather is the orator of our family. He leads us in prayer at every holiday meal, and he loves to tell stories of his travels to Africa, Europe, etc. When he said he didn't want to speak at our wedding, my heart twisted and I cried. I asked him why he didn't want to speak in our ceremony, and he said, "I wouldn't have anything to say."

It was a rejection on so many levels.

I still don't understand why my grandfather didn't want to speak in our ceremony. Was it because he was disappointed that we were having a secular rather than a religious ceremony? Was it because he didn't think I should be marrying Matt? Was it because he was afraid he would get too emotional and didn't want to embarrass himself?

I regret that I never pushed our communication about the topic further, but I was honestly scared of which answer it was.

Wedding planning can be complicated. It can be full of emotion and misunderstandings and misconceptions and different perspectives. But family is what it is. You have to take the good with the bad and make the best of it.

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Chris Wolfgang said...

Wow. So difficult. Thanks for sharing. I've made requests of some family that I thought were just perfect for them and had to swallow some surprise when they declined. It shakes you up.

Kristen said...

Thanks so much for sharing this. I am venturing into this territory, and if this happens to me, this post is going to help so much!

When I was reading your story I couldn't think that different personality types can be really funny to bump into, also. There are some personality types that wouldn't dream of responding in that way and would have to at least explain their answer (I think you would definitely fall into that category - I would, too), and then there are some that wouldn't give it a second thought to give the response your grandfather did.

Thanks again for sharing this!

If you ever do find out the reason for his response, please post that, too!

My favorite system for understanding different personality types is the Enneagram. You can relate each type to a Myers-Briggs type, but I find the information a little easier to digest in the enneagram format.

lizzie said...

That sounds so hard...I'm sorry you went through that feeling at all...but they look like they enjoyed and supported your wedding here!

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