"Blog Worthy Weddings"

I've been making a concerted effort to make more friends, as I try to bring more connection and a larger support network into my life. One of my newest friends asked me to trek to a new knitting store with her. I've been wanting to make a baby hat with bloodhound ears (to match Hoss, of course), so I was happy to join her.

We inevitably started talking about weddings (not because weddings are a common topic of conversation a couple years after-the-fact, but simply because I was telling her about the things I do for fun, like this blog).

She immediately began sharing the frustration she had with her own wedding planning experience. She confessed that she became obsessed with creating a "blog-worthy" wedding. She even had a specific wedding blog in mind that she wanted to feature all the pretty, pretty details of her wedding.

The process of trying to create a "blog-worthy wedding," however, became tiresome and stressful. She confessed that at several moments throughout the process, she just "wanted the whole thing to be over."

In the end, she was so done with her wedding that she didn't even submit it to the blog!

I think one of the best ways to avoid the spiral into wedding planning exasperation is to set a vision at the very beginning, instead of immediately jumping into the Pool of Wedding Details.

Matt and I wanted a "memorable and meaningful wedding focused on community, connection, and fun." Specifically, these were the goals we established for our wedding during our first planning meeting (over Mexican food):

1. We want to bring family and friends together to reconnect and form new friendships.
2. We don’t want the experience to feel overly-orchestrated. It’s a celebration of our love, not a show.
3. We will fight consumerism by spending only $2,000 max. The Wedding Industrial Complex is conspiring to make us think we have to spend more money. But we want to make the event special with sincerity, not money. Plus, we need to save money for a house, and we certainly don't want to start our life together in debt.
4. It will be good for the environment and connected to nature.
5. We want to have real time to spend with guests. We want to be able to spend quality time with our friends and family. We don’t want to follow the traditional pattern of a few wedding “events” where the bride and groom only have time for a “meet and greet”: rehearsal dinner, reception, brunch the following morning. We want more of a family and friends reunion.
   
6. We will make all the decisions ourselves so our wedding represents us (hence another reason why we need to pay for it ourselves).
7. We only want to be surrounded by our closest friends and family.
8. We want to be relaxed and fully present.

When I started to go C-R-A-Z-Y about how something looked or what color it was, I tried to bring myself back to our vision. It helped me remember that many of the smaller details that drive us mad are actually not as significant as the bigger pieces. By focusing on fewer, but bigger pieces, we can hopefully eliminate some of the stress of the planning process!

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