Tying the Knot in a Meaningful and Memorable Way (Without Losing Our Savings or Sanity)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Letter Writing to Process Transitions

I've written a lot of letters lately, as a way to help me process some of the big changes in my life. I started writing letters to Henry when he was in the womb. Then I wrote a letter to Matt that he could pull out as a reminder of my love during the really tough transition into parenthood. Next, I wrote a letter to myself about how I wanted Henry's birth to unfold. Recently, I wrote a letter to my "Former Life" (i.e., my pre-motherhood self).

For me, these letters are a way to process my thoughts and feelings. They are similar to a journal entry, but they allow me to step outside of myself and assume a more objective perspective.

I received an e-mail from Andee, a kindred spirit, who had the awesome idea to write a letter to her single self after she became engaged. I am so thankful that she's willing to share her thoughts will all of you.

Without further ado, here's Andee:

Dear Single Life,

This letter signals the beginning of my transition into married life (I know I still have 177 days, but I want to start preparing now in case this is long process). Once the married life transition has been completed you will be a thing of the past. I thoroughly enjoyed all my time with you; I enjoyed being able to eat what I want when I want it, throw my clothes where I want, go to sleep when I want, watch anything I want, not having to talk to anyone when I come home, not having to talk to anyone in the morning, being able to cry and not explaining it to anyone. Being able to relax in my own space and unwind, go out when I want. Basically I loved not being accountable to anyone and being completely on my own.

What I did not enjoy is coming home when something was broken or when I had a terrible day at work and the house was cold and empty. I didn’t like sleeping alone every night. I don’t like having to call someone if I am lonely. I didn’t like nobody knowing whether I was dead or alive, if I made it home or I was lying in a ditch somewhere. I didn’t like being responsible for everything. I will not miss being a one man band, a solo show.

I will miss all the freedoms and frivolity of being single. I will miss being able to leave anything and everything wherever I want to leave it – but more than I will miss those things, I will appreciate that I am not alone. When I come home I will have a kind, strong, thoughtful man to wrap his arms around me tight. I will know that I have a partner in both crime and responsibility. I will understand that the value of what I am gaining far outweighs the value of what I am giving up. Collin and I will build a life together – something greater than us – built on love, trust and respect. We have something uncommon– we found it and I will embrace it with all the courage, tenacity, and joy I have ever been able to muster. I will embrace the fear and know that it means you are not doing this in a thoughtless and inconsiderate way. I will step bravely and boldly into this next phase of my life.


Engaged Andee

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